Survey after survey shows that people with strong religious faith — of any religion or denomination — are happier than those who are irreligious. David Myers, a social psychologist at Michigan's Hope College, says that faith provides social support, a sense of purpose and a reason to focus beyond the self, all of which help root people in their communities.
That seems reason enough to get more involved at the local church, temple or mosque. For the more inwardly focused, deep breathing during meditation and prayer can slow down the body and reduce stress, anxiety and physical tension to allow better emotions and energy to come forward.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Nurture Your Spirituality
Snog. Canoodle. Get It On.
It's no secret that a roll in the hay, and all that leads up to it, feels good. Endorphins are the neurotransmitters in your brain that reduce pain and, in the absence of pain, can induce euphoria. A rush of such chemicals might seem like a temporary solution to a dreary day
, but there are added benefits, not the least of which is expressing affection and strengthening the bonds of a relationship. Oxytocin is released by the pituitary gland upon orgasm; often referred to as the "hormone of love" or the "cuddle chemical," it is associated with feelings of bonding and trust, and can even reduce stress.
Enjoy the music
Whether regarded as an evolutionary accident that piggybacked on language or as the gateway to our emotions, music activates parts of the brain that can trigger happiness, releasing endorphins similar to the ways that sex and food do. Music can also relax the body, sometimes into sleep as it stimulates the brain's release of melatonin.
A study of older adults who listened to their choice of music during outpatient eye surgery showed that they had significantly lower heart rates and blood pressure, and their hearts did not work as hard as those who underwent surgery without music. A second study, of patients undergoing colonoscopy, showed that listening to their selection of music reduced their anxiety levels and lessened the dosage required for sedation.
Crime: Malaysia's Trial of the Century
IN THE SPOTLIGHT: Prominent Malaysian Abdul Razak Baginda, center in blue shirt with his wife by his side, has pleaded not guilty to abetting the murder of Mongolian model turned interpreter Shaariibuu
A Mongolian part-time model whose naked body was allegedly blown up by military-grade explosives. A former political adviser to Malaysia's Deputy Prime Minister charged with abetting the murder of his ex-lover. Two government security agents whom the prosecution alleges carried out the killing of the 28-year-old Mongolian woman. A loyal wife who, despite allegations of her husband's involvement in the plot, has worn a T shirt to the murder trial that says MRS. RAZAK BAGINDA on the front, AND PROUD OF IT on the back. Welcome to what may be the most sensational case in an Asian courtroom today.
Malaysia, a tidy Southeast Asian nation that is often held up as a model of a Muslim-majority democracy, doesn't usually play host to a murder trial that seems better suited to an episode of The Sopranos. Indeed, the killing of model turned interpreter Altantuya Shaariibuu last October has riveted this country of 25 million. First, there is the sheer luridness of the case. Then, there are the political implications: some Malaysians think it might hurt the succession hopes of Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak. For others, the trial, which opened last month, serves as a bellwether of the integrity of Malaysia's legal system and its burgeoning press. Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has vowed to make protecting such institutions a cornerstone of his administration. Yet the legitimacy of the Shaariibuu case was already questioned last month when the original chief prosecutor was removed just hours before the trial was to begin. Before that, several local journalists were briefly detained after covering the case. Although Malaysian newspapers have reported extensively on the trial since then, certain scandalous details emerging from the past week's testimony have been omitted from many local press reports.
The story begins in 2004 when a polished Malaysian think-tank director named Abdul Razak Baginda met the comely Shaariibuu at a party in Hong Kong. A married father, Abdul Razak, now 47, had been educated in Britain, had written several books on Malaysia's political economy, and was known to be close to Deputy PM Najib. Abdul Razak and Shaariibuu began a romantic relationship, meeting up for secret liaisons across Asia. Eight months later, Abdul Razak broke off the affair, according to the prosecution and a court affidavit filed by him. Abdul Razak alleges that Shaariibuu then began blackmailing him, presumably threatening to make their relationship public if he did not pay up.
By the spring of 2006, however, Abdul Razak says he stopped sending money. In October, Shaariibuu traveled to the Malaysian capital Kuala Lumpur. In his affidavit, Abdul Razak says that after Shaariibuu showed up in town, he confided about her to a high-ranking security officer who worked for Najib. Then, on Oct. 19, according to Abdul Razak's affidavit, the think-tank head called a police officer associated with a high-level unit that provided security for top Malaysian leaders to tell him Shaariibuu was outside his house. Soon after, a car with three police agents pulled up and took the Mongolian woman away. That was the last Abdul Razak says he saw of his former paramour.
On Nov. 6, Shaariibuu's burned remains were found in a jungle outside Kuala Lumpur. Abdul Razak has pleaded not guilty to abetting murder; the two policemen charged with carrying out the killing have pleaded not guilty, too. If convicted, all three could face the death penalty.
Just how the case will affect the Deputy Prime Minister is not yet clear. Najib, the heir apparent to PM Abdullah, has denied any involvement, stating that he never even met Shaariibuu. But on June 29 a court witness claimed she had seen a photo of Abdul Razak, Shaariibuu and a man she named as "Najib Razak" dining at a Paris restaurant. Najib has refused to comment on this specific testimony. "The longer he tries to avoid the issue, the more wild the rumors will be," says Lim Guan Eng, secretary-general of the opposition Democratic Action Party. "The government wants to be known as serious about transparency and justice, but this case damages those efforts."
This isn't the first time Malaysia's court system has faced scrutiny. Nearly a decade ago, then Deputy Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim was jailed for sodomy and abuse of power—a ruling condemned as political by human-rights groups. Now, Anwar is leading the charge against high-ranking members of his former political party. "Any hint that the integrity of the system has been compromised during the investigation and trial will further erode the public's faith in the institutions of governance," Anwar said in a press statement.
For his part, Najib's boss, PM Abdullah, has promised that politics will not influence the outcome of the trial. But any link to such a high-profile murder can't be good news for Malaysia's leaders. The case will likely continue over the next month, just as the Southeast Asian nation gears up to celebrate a half-century of freedom from British rule. With so many salacious details emerging from court testimony, Malaysia can only hope that its trial of the century does not overshadow 50 years of independence.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Inflammatory Factor Could Spur Male Infertility
July 9 (HealthDay News) -- A substance present in the body as a result of inflammation may also help cause male infertility, new research suggests.
A team at The Feinstein Institute for Medical Research in Manhasset, N.Y., identified unusual levels of a substance called "macrophage migration inhibitory factor" (MIF) in semen samples obtained from infertile men.
Reporting in the current issue of Molecular Medicine, the researchers theorize that identification of this factor could lead to tests for infertility as well as the development of a male contraceptive.
Inflammation occurs when the body endures infections such as sepsis (blood infection), autoimmune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis or chronic diseases such as diabetes and heart disease. The factor is present in high levels during those conditions and is linked in some cases to tissue damage.
The researchers analyzed semen from 27 fertile men and 68 infertile men after several days of sexual abstinence. They found that men with fertility problems had MIF levels that were either too low or too high.
Healthy levels of MIF help sperm mature so they can unite with an egg, the team said. When they added the factor to Petri dishes containing healthy sperm, the number and mobility of the sperm decreased.
According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, there are 2.1 million infertile couples in the United States. Almost 40 percent of infertility problems are due to the male.
4 Ways to Open Your Social Circle Cyber-Style
For female bonding today, the Internet is a girl's best bet. Moving to a new city? Looking for a career change? Want some fun new friends? Meeting new people is easier than you think! Your virtual options are vast -- and here are four to get you started:
It's Mutual
When it comes to meeting people, some favor the anonymity of the Web, while others find it disconcerting. So why not go through mutual contacts? Lynda Radosevich is VP Communications for Visible Path, a company that creates software to connect people through sets of colleagues. She says, "Women have traditionally been more hesitant than men to tap their social network for opportunities. But in the past year or so, there's been an upswing in new technologies that's closing that gender gap." And she has a success story of her own: Recently, Lynda was assigned a project for which she had to choose a known sales expert for a market research report interview. Through Visible Path's database of who knows who in the business world, she discovered that she has a contact in common with the CEO of a very influential sales consulting company. "I called him, and we were granted an interview within a few days," she says. "My natural tendency would not have been to go straight to the CEO -- and whether that's because I'm a woman or not, who knows -- but knowing I had a common contact made me much more comfortable, and that's something technology is enabling."
Lynda adds that there are always opportunities for overlap between networking for business and meeting people for fun; you never know where your new relationships will lead, be it romance, your dream job or a lasting friendship. To make casual connections through your pals instead of your business associates, Lynda recommends Friendster.com, which, like Visible Path, is based on meeting new acquaintances through people you already know. Friendster spokesperson Lisa Kopp says, "In a time when we're all so busy and don't have time to go to dinner parties or join a book club, we value our friendships just as much and are still looking for outlets to form new bonds with other interesting women." She says people use the site's elaborate profiles to find like-minded women for exchanging experiences and advice. "On Friendster, we see women looking for reviews of music and movies, vacation planning input, even job leads. It's a trusted source."
Girl Talk
Website message boards are another popular means of connecting with new people, and they're used for a variety of reasons, ranging from recipe swapping to getting sex advice. "Asia T," an iVillage message board member since 1998, has used the site to make friends across the country -- and even in her own neighborhood. "I met two people in my area through Parent Soup [a division of iVillage]. One of the two women lives only three miles from me, and we went to the same high school during the same years! It was a large school so we didn't know each other then," she says. Asia finds striking up these electronic conversations is simple when you have things in common. "Aside from talking about parenthood, talking about my home business is a wonderful way for me to meet other women who are doing the same -- or for those who aren't doing home business yet but are curious about getting started," she says.
Where's the Party?
Evite.com is a site featuring electronic invitations people can send to their friends to let them know about upcoming events. The organizer designs her own invitation -- from describing the occasion details to selecting the background images. (The bright "girls night fun" backdrop is one favorite among women.) And the invitations are specifically laid out to save people time: The Web page's RSVP forum allows those attending to see who else can make it and, if there are things to be done or brought to the event, to visibly determine who's taking care of what. Evite spokesperson Kristen Wareham says, "One of our users started an Orange County Christian moms' group, and she says it's made her life so much easier to know what they can each bring to the gatherings and what they plan to talk about." The invites are not only a great way to simplify keeping in touch with people you already know, they also have a feature encouraging the people invited to invite new people.
DIY
Laurel Touby is CEO of mediabistro.com, an online community of 300,000 media professionals that frequently throws parties in various cities around the country. She says she was lonely when she graduated from college 11 years ago, so she decided to start organizing these get-togethers in an effort to meet other people like her. "It's so hard when you graduate and you come to a big city or a small city, and everybody seems to hang out with people they already know." And if you think networking is just for college grads, think again. Laurel recently passed along some wisdom when her 65-year-old mother relocated to North Carolina, where she knew no one. Laurel recalls, "I told her to become a regular somewhere -- at the gym, the local cafe, a professional organization. In order to meet other people like you, you have to do things you like to do." She says, "Get out of your house. Get out of your office. If you're interested in film, volunteer for a film festival. I formed a network of media professionals because, if you follow what you love, you'll find others like you there."
Diane Darling, author of The Networking Survival Guide: Get the Success You Want by Tapping into the People You Know (McGraw-Hill, 2003), agrees. She says her theory of why women sometimes struggle to meet new people uses a sports analogy: "Men have been involved in sports for longer, so they're used to going on the field, trying, failing and then trying again. Women, on the other hand, are perfectionists. We've been socialized to do it nice and to do it pretty, but that's not [how it works]. You're not going to succeed until you try." So what does she suggest? "Always introduce yourself to people, attend forums where it may not be something that's an obvious match for you but might be a place where you might meet people. Get out there and try it."
4 Sex Secrets That Keep Any Guy Interested
So, you think you found the perfect guy. You're clicking on the emotional front, and now you want to leave a lasting impression in the bedroom too. So what's the big secret? It's not all about knock-his-socks-off sex. When it comes to keeping a guy's interest, the way you approach sex can make all the difference. So follow these four basic rules to keep him coming back for more. Don't believe us? Try them tonight!
Don't be a tease, but don't be a sure thing, either.
What many women — and men, for that matter — sometimes fail to realize is that there's a very fine line between being a tease and being playful. If you deny him gratification too often or for too long, he'll probably lose interest and begin to build resentment. While there should never be an expectation of sex, once that expectation has been created, it's very difficult to remove it without creating serious tension.
On the flip side, while men are inherently lazy and do love a sure thing, you also don't want us to take you for granted. Plus, if you're always available to satisfy him , he'll think you're no longer a challenge (and most men love a challenge). So if you can turn down a booty call every now and then, or say no to sex sometimes when you're not really up for it, he's actually going to want to see you more and make more effort.
Make him a believer, but don't oversell it.
Here's something that isn't exactly a secret: Men all like to think that they're “the man.” So you need to make him feel like he's doing something right! I can't stress enough the importance of playing to the male ego and placating his inevitable insecurities about penis size, stamina and the ability to bring you to orgasm. So if you're not fully satisfied, don't simply fake it for his sake; instead, communicate to him about what is working and praise him for the things he does do well. When a man feels consistently insecure about his ability to please his partner, he may get the urge to duck and run. A sincere compliment here and there will keep him focused on doing better by you in bed — instead of finding someone easier to please.
Underpromise, overdeliver.
As far as the bedroom is concerned, avoid creating false expectations at all costs. For example, no guy wants to hear about how great you are at giving fellatio if you're not going to perform it on him. And if you promise to “rock his world” and then don't? Well, you're setting him up for disappointment. It's good to be confident, but the less you promise, the less expectation you create and the more pleasant a surprise you can be for him. And when you're a pleasant surprise, there's usually going to be an encore performance; he'll want to see what else you have in your bag of tricks.
Desire is key.
Most women think great sex is all about the performance. Now, don't get me wrong — if you're really great at something and enjoy doing it, by all means, go right ahead! But it's important to remember that simply expressing a desire for your guy makes a man feel sexually powerful, and making him feel wanted will make him want you even more. So don't forget to let him know how badly you want him, in as much detail as you feel comfortable with. It will be a big turn on for him, even if you aren't the most experienced or skilled at any particular act.
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